The Beauty of Elementary Friendship

Yesterday I just had a reunion with my elementary friends. Yes elementary friends. And how does it feel when you finally meet them after more than a decade not seeing each other? So many feels. I got sooooo many feels. But most of all I felt joy toward it, a tearful kind of joy. Because when you meet them, you don't solely meet them, you meet the memories of them. The memories that's been created years ago when you just trying to learn about this whole life. And then they're also there, being present in your earlier year of life. Enjoying and embracing life together. Making memories of a lifetime. Teaching each other the meaning of friendship. And inevitably teaching each other the hardship of goodbye too.

You were apart and now you're together again. You're happy that you finally see them in your other chapter of life, your 20s, but you also can't help but feel kinda sad realizing that you all are a grown up now. You were just a child when you first met them in your life. And now you all are becoming a responsible grown up with its own complexity. How much some personalities have changed and how much some personalities stay the same. How you all ended up taking a different paths, different schools and different social circles. But I find it beautiful that despite our differences, and even after being years apart, we still can knit our friendship close together. That though you don't see each other often, you still can have a really good time together. That you can still become your old self when you're together. Your child-at-heart self :)

All That Matter

And then we sat on the ground. Looking up to the polluted sky, no star being seen. So did my mind. It's polluted. Polluted by a poisonous fog that crawled every 9. I was starting to get numb, my mind started becoming hazy. At that very moment, I needed to be rest assured, I needed to feel safe. Safe from my own thoughts. And that's when I glanced at him when he then suddenly clasped his hand into mine, tightly. He didn't utter any word. He was just there, being present. We sat there quietly for a moment. Breathing. Blinking. Feeling the skin of each other. Connecting into each other's mind.

I was about to ask him a question when he all of a sudden said, "Just breathe. Everything might not be okay right now and everything might not be okay tomorrow. Being not okay is just a phase in life, so does being okay. There will be time when you'll feel okay and when you won't. Just take a deep breath and remember this too shall pass. But most of all, always remember that I will always be there when you don't feel okay. I will stay until you'll feel better. Until your mind become less polluted and until you're able to stand firm on your feet. That's when I will momentarily leave just so I can come back to you."

I stared long into his eyes and I smiled. I might not be okay right now but the most important thing is I know that I am loved. That's all that I need.

Be That Kind Of Person

"In a world where everybody wants to be heard. Be the one who listen."

- Me :)

There's Reason Why I Do What I Do Right Now

Catharsis |kəˈθärsis| (n)

1 the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions

2 rare Medicine purgation.

Or I'd like to say it's something you do that keeps you sane. To be sane in this insane world is a real challenge we face nowadays. Many willing to pay just to keep themselves sane. Be it a psychotherapist visit or an expensive vacation far far away from the insanity of big city. See? Being sane in this world is not cheap, and certainly not easy.

If you're sad or if you're angry or if you're not capable of enduring your variation of emotions or if there's a chemical imbalance going on in your head and you're about to breakdown, catharsis will work for you. It will help you to fight the insanity that the world had thrown at you.

So yes, to finally be able to figure out something you do that can keep you sane is gold. A kind of gold that is so priceless no one can own it but you. Catharsis is good. Well it's actually great. It keeps you sane. It makes you feel better. And it can help you to go on with life without any grudge or any negative emotions. It's magic.

Inconsistency

The problem with having too many social media is you tend to abandon one or two of them. And my blog became one of them. It's been a year since I last write in this page and yes I do feel like I neglected my child lol. The initial reason why I create this blog was because it's my kind of catharsis, it keeps me.. sane. And the reason why I abandoned my blog was because I find much simpler and easier platform to put my thoughts on. But then again I miss writing a long post and post a lot of photos, something that I couldn't do on that other platform. So yeah here and back again I am.

When I write in this blog, I don't expect people to read it. But people will bump into it nonetheless so I want to keep it as interesting as it can. Well I've been on many interesting places lately, nature mostly, so I kind of having tons of photos to share but not sure where to share them. And I figured sharing them here would be the perfect choice, no one really read it but when someone bumps into it, it would be just okay. Everybody is a visual person and everybody loves pretty pictures. So yes I'm going to post a lot of photos soon. Anyway I'm not gonna post the photos right now, but here's one to indulge the weary eyes.

This one is not taken at Amazon, it's just somewhere near Yogyakarta.

But then again I'm a sucker at consistency. So not gonna lie, I might or might not post the photos soon lol.

Love of my life

Love comes from everybody, I don't know why people stereotyping love as a lover thingy. Love for me is something that keeps you alive, something that you can't live without, something that makes your life worth to live, something that you seeks everytime you wake up. Yes sometimes it comes from lover too, but I believe that's not the only sources. it could come from your family, your friends or it could be from your pets :) So what about mine? Well below are my love's sources, they are the love of my life, people who never fail to strengthen me and makes me smile everyday.. Directly or indirectly :)

You Can Only Choose One

would you rather be

UNDERESTIMATE

––––––––––––– or –––––––––––––
OVERESTIMATE

?

this thought came over to my mind unexpectedly right after I woke up from my dream. well it's a bit uncanny, I can't remember what kind of dream that molded this thought, I lost track of it. I personally can't decide whether I'd rather be underestimate or overestimate, both have their advantages and disadvantages. so what about you? which one do you prefer? please spare me your thought, you'll be very welcome :)

About Falling In Love

falling in love really takes you into the next level of stupidity. I mean when you fall in love you completely lose your mind, you'll be able to do some crazy stuffs that is never exist in the first place. it puts you in a state where your mind cannot work properly, your conscious is literally being scrambled by the touchy-heart-feeling and your brain is totally being distracted by the unstable hormones. you just cannot think straight in this state, no matter how much you begged, no matter how much you pleaded, you just cannot think crystal clear. you are being head over heels, heart over logic, gotta say it's a tad eerie. no I'm not in this state at the moment but I personally think it's kinda stressful. I mean I fell in love once (maybe twice, three times or idk how many times) and yeah I'm not overly fond of this state, I was entirely being someone else, it's uncanny, I always grin whenever I look back to those old foolish time. I'm not saying falling in love is a stupid thing, I'm just saying that it's responsible for making people being stupid. it's not stupid, it could be a wonderful feeling when it's given in the right amount and it could be kinda cute too at certain situation. I mean cmon who can resist a man that's being stupid? that gesture is kinda cute, no? well I say you're not truly falling in love when you're not being stupid, it is just tremendously inevitable :)

Inner Peace

"sometimes solitude and serenity is what we need"

and beach is just the perfect place to find it. especially when it comes to sunset hour, the view of it is utterly breath-taking, no? it gives you inner peace at the moment, makes you realize how great is our God for making this kinda masterpiece. the sight of sun-ray burst from the cloud's apperture, the warmth gold-to-red gradation in the sky, the silhouettes of happy people pacing around there and the cold yet caressing ripple touches your skin is solely the perfect combination to indulge your eyes and other sensory, the feeling is indeed divine. ah how I miss spending my time at kuta beach. I wish I could just lay down there right now and experienced that divine moment all over again, and of course to be grateful of this impeccable creation ♡♥

Diffable

"The Eyes Are Useless When The Mind is Blind" 

this quote came up in front of me while I was browsing through social media. and frankly it snapped my attention right away because it reminds me of my assignment, the subject is accessibility - it's about designing for diffable person, in this subject we're expected to be more concern and compassionate about them who has different ability. anyhow the quote is kinda ironic isn't it? I mean there are lots of people who's given a pair of healthy eyes yet they don't use it in a good way, many of them have narrow mind; they don't realize how fortunate they are to have this exquisite gift and they end up wasting it for some crappy things. whilst on the contrary, there are few people scattered in this world who's unfortunate end up having visual impairment. but by having this kind of shortage, it won't stop them from being awesome, they even tend to possess a powerful great mind, more expanded than a normal-eyed person's mind. this shortage even provokes them to prove themselves to the world that they're capable to do anything that seemingly impossible. for example is Stevie wonder, who doesn't know him? he's a famous blind musician who has pocketed more than 20 Grammy Awards plus one Grammy Award Lifetime Achievement, wow what a marvelous achievement, no? not many normal-eyed person can even obtain that. another example is Hellen Keller, I reckon everybody know her, no need to mention her awesomeness I suppose. the 3rd example is Esref Armagan, well he's a blind painter. yes even blind person is capable to do that, I can barely believe it at first but well nothing is impossible, no? if you're curious below are some of his works.

well I guess that's it. what I'd like to share is, you can do more than them if you want, just don't be nonchalant of what God has given to you, you just have to sought out what's your talent is - or maybe you've discovered it, well develop it for a good cause then. their success didn't just popped out in an instant, they gain it by their devoted hardwork. so let's do more establishment things and don't give up easily, shall we? :)

Sometimes It's The Little Thing That You Need The Most

why you need that the most? why little thing? why not big thing? well because sometimes that little thing is what's important to you, it adds the value of your precious life, it helps you to get through this laborious life. beside, most of big things always come from little thing, it doesn't appeared to be big instantly, no? those little things surely make a solid foundation before the big thing arise. so yeah I reckon the little thing is what you need the most. maybe it seems not so important to you, well I think it's because you solely don't pay attention to it. next time, try to pay attention to it and I'm pretty sure you'll gain your big thing gradually. so what's your important little thing that you need the most? have you figure it out? well... mine is alarm clock at the moment. don't ask why, it's a whimsical long story hihihi.

here's a bonus picture of sunset in jimbaran bali to soothe you ;)

(Not So) Casual Comeback

Hello I guess I'm back on this thing again and yeah it's new, I happened to delete my previous blog cos I found out it's too tacky (yeah that's back then when I was a juvenile), initially I intend to delete it for temporary but then it turns out I couldn't find my previous blog - it's totally gone, lost somewhere in an alternate world - thus I decided to make a new one. I'm here coz I need to write down (okay type down to be exact) something that's been bothering my mind in quite some times - it's like the most resilient parasites stick in your mind, infecting yours in very unhealthy way, contagious to other body parts. Okay I may not going to type down what that thing is, I'm just going to type and type and type and type till I run out of any nifty words to make myself feel awesome, writing (or typing) have this special ability to calm my nerves, it makes me feel good all the time. I'm that type of person who can't just tell everybody (even somebody closest to me - or I thought they are) about my thoughts, about my problems, about my anxiety. I just happened to be the most secretive person I know, I rarely talk about my issues when I'm hanging with my best mates, I just tend to share some laughs with them which isn't bad at all - I cherish and enjoy every moment of it - and I can't be more grateful for having them in my life. It's just I don't feel comfortable talking about my issues to others, it's not their fault, it's me who's having a little too reserved. Frankly I don't know how to talk, how to act, how to behave when it comes to the touchy-feely stuffs. Therefore it seems I like to keep my issues to myself which isn't so wrong either. I don't talk to people cos I don't want them to feel sorry for me and I don't want to put the burden on their shoulder.  Besides, I can't talk about it coz I'm afraid people will think I'm such a weird and wacky person if I tell them what's inside my mind. So that's the epitome of my unnecessary comeback, I'm feeling awesome already. Sorry for the inconvenience, enough crap, have a magnificent day people :)

ps: I'm not complaining here, I just wanted my friends to know that their presence is already a bliss to me.

me not talking about my issues is nothing to be worried for, it's not a big deal okay :D